MARS

Written March 2, 2007. Slightly edited to fit the blog concept.

Mars is the God of War.

He's the brother and the enemy of the God of Whore.

Tis the Beginning of March. "March" is "Mars" in French. "March" is the sound of charging feet in English.

I've known very early that I was a Warrior. I wasn't 10 yet when I first discovered T. Rex's "Electric Warrior" - and took it for what it was.

But I didn't know WHOSE warrior I was then.

But T. Rex wasn't cool by the PEEPS' standards. They weren't even ever that cool in England, so I'm not even telling you about America in the '80s...

Marc/Mars Bolan was infinitely more sex conscious than the too celestial Zombies. But T. Rex were a GIRLY BAND. An anecdotal, not so important band for LITTLE 13 YEAR OLD GIRLS. Julie Burchill sorted that out very well for the NME, at the time when the NME was The Enemy - now, it's just ours. Even John Peel, who discovered Marc Bolan and was his Godfather, got it all wrong about him... HE DISOWNED HIS SON.

I vaguely knew all that. Still I said innocently to the PEEPS of my school that T. Rex was my favorite band. And as I was also NOT ONE OF THEM, an orphan, and especially GREAT, those worthy sleuths immediately spotted that frail, intellectual, 4-eyed weakling as A FREAK.

And this is how it all BEGAN.

When I got out of the lunatic asylum at 19, I saw "Roger and me" and immediately knew that I was a Warrior, and whose Warrior I would be. But still it took me a long, long time, to really KNOW it. Cuz I was A FREAK. And freaks are not supposed to be warriors - they're supposed to be hippies.

This never fooled me - consciously. But now I realize how SCARED I always was to be EXPOSED. I realized that I NEVER USED MY INFLUENCE IN THE OPEN, NEVER OPENED MY MOUTH PUBLICLY, along with Zinn, Chomsky and a thousand other professors. Cuz me * I * knew, in my guts, what THEY (and perhaps even MM) didn't know : that the USA is NOT a free country. Not any more. Since long.

And I realize how much I always liked SHADOWS, how much I always acted a lot, worked a lot and did a lot, but NEVER IN THE OPEN. I had (and still have) a NEW MODEL ARMY of devoted friends and students whose main function was to HYDE me. Internet was the thing for me. Really.

In spite of all that, I always felt kind of PARALYZED. Paralyzed by SHAME. Cuz I thought of myself as a COWARD, even though my activism was very efficient and threatening to the fascists.

And this is how it all BEGAN.

"Mars" is also a book by Fritz Zorn. A guy who finally let his St Anger be. But NEVER REVEALED HIS WORLDLY NAME. I won't comment on it. Read it.

http://www.amazon.com/Mars-Fritz-Zo...72857328&sr=8-1

Fritz Zorn died of cancer, in spite of having accessed the International Herald Tribune. John Lennon was murdered.

Michael Moore is alive and well and working on "Sicko", a DOCUMENTARY about health care.

Never mind the cigarettes. They are bollocks. They are the consequence of cancer, not the cause. So is GW. Et vice versa.

I don't know if I'm going to die. Cuz I don't know if I want to. I know that solar people usually DO beat the clock. And I do know how much I infinitely loathe and despise humanity, and, with all my might, want it to die - because I'm convinced that's what's really good and just and deserved. And I loathe it a little more with each and every new awkward move from one of the hicks.

Fritz Zorn and John Lennon died of fear and hate. Michael Moore didn't. Is it because he loves humanity so much, in spite of knowing much better than me what it's really worth ? I think so.

So, the Cure, for me, doesn't consist in stopping chain-smoking. THE CURE CONSISTS IN CHANGING MY MIND ABOUT HUMANITY.

And THAT's the reason why I'm doing what I'm doing.

Not for you, hicks.