The worst enemies of a society are not the poor, they are the humiliated.
Upsize This is just a self-worshipping sect as far as I can see, but I have a story with them. A love story. Blind. Sad. Tough.
If you want to know more (you know you do) and if you like gossip (who doesn’t), roll on to the revelations. Nobody’s watching.
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Upsize This was a magical name : they were the former Michael Moore’s Board, which I heard had abruptly ended for never elucidated reasons, and had gone on to found this new entity on Feb 9, 2003. I’ll repeat that : Feb 9, 2003.
To me they were the next best thing after God. I mean, hey, He Walked Among Them and all the matching claptrap. In the beginning I mostly lurked quietly, wondering how to prove myself worthy of the Moore following elite. Finally, I wrote an essay and jumped in. Stage fright.
It was an instant hit. All admiration, compliments and friendly criticism. The lady who runs the site looked elated and got my piece on the Home page with the blessing of the other Moderators. # 1 in Upsizeland ! I ran around telling everybody I had been noticed by the former MMBB. I was walking on air. I was thrilled.
Then...
Then, nothing much happened. Some little neo-cons came to reveal the world Moore was a liar and we flocked to reveal them they were jackasses. In a rather lengthy way. I was bored but it was summertime and I just thought, oh well, they’re lazy – and went on compiling stuff in order to write an even better essay for the board of the Moore following elite.
Then...
One day, gasping in horror, I came across a brisk, blunt, blanket, brutal and especially stupid review from the site’s big shot, simply entitled “F9/11 – crap”. I tried to reply rationally (mechanically noticing that after three months he had only just seen the movie), but before I knew it I was called a sycophant and Michael Moore was compared with Ann Coulter, and people were dead serious discussing a load of crap they’d never have taken from a neo-con. Finally, the lady expressed shock when I innocently posted about my trauma on another forum as a catharsis. I thought the fools had taken over the asylum.
I was later to understand that words like “I felt like kicking his teeth in” simply meant “He got on my nerves” in the verbally violent code the aforementioned gentleman encouraged and advocated, and that he and the lady were in fact “Daddy” and “Mummy” to anyone born to them on Feb 9, 2003. I’ll repeat that : Feb 9, 2003. Yes, these proud and free liberals were behaving no better than these neo-cons who according to Al Franken are like 4-year-old kids who believe that Mummy America is always right. As for the site itself, it was now just, and I quote, "a centre left political site with a slight Moore orientation to keep in touch with our roots". I bet that if I had said "Moore is a cunt and an asshole" elsewhere, none of them would have objected to it, and many would have applauded – but I was supposed to remain loyal to
Upsize This.
I knew everything I needed to know when I took the foolish decision to make them come back to their senses, and in a way I’m the one to blame for what followed. By expecting too much from these people, I asked for it.
After that “crappy” episode, things went downhill fast. A Mod behaved in a way I thought was authoritarian and indicative of rotten relationships in the site, and I angrily but confidently posted about that. Hey, freedom of thought. Freedom of speech. Criticism. Questioning. I was sure that
they could take that. But an ominous silence surrounded my interpellation and I was just tersely asked to “grow up” (yes, the people at
Upsize This are obsessed with childishness like the neo-con hicks are obsessed with intelligence...). And a weird wilderness began to surround my posts in the Michael Moore section, and as a result my posts about Michael Moore became more and more caricatured and groupie-minded, and all of this time, nothing shaking but the leaves on the trees, the “F9/11 – crap” thread and the empty cheerleading against the little neo-cons that kept revealing that Moore was a liar and got self-righteously banned by the pound.
And then one day...
One day, I became too nosy and wanted to learn more about the reasons that had led to the litigation between Michael Moore and his own board, and why he had so strangely burned his bridges with them without a word. I could sense the level of hostility increasing in a palpable way, but I wouldn’t notice. (Questioning ! Investigation ! Freedom of thought ! Criticism ! The former MMBB ! Michael Moore’s following elite !)
When they began to lynch me and I saw the pro-Moore lady side with the anti-Moore stalker, I understood that they had both joined Feb 9, 2003 – I’ll repeat that : Feb 9, 2003 -, and that nothing else would ever matter on
Upsize This. And as some people went on posting anti-Moore blasphemies to prove he was no god in a grown-up fashion, I quietly began to erase all of my posts and burned my bridges with them without a word. I had my answer. Moore had shitcanned them because they were shitcannable.
I thought I was at least entitled to commit suicide. But I wasn’t. My obituary wasn’t tender.
The lady who had been so sweet to me 6 months earlier turned to a dishevelled kind of Mere Ubu, furiously calling me a little fucker and banning me for having left, mad like a shrew lamenting over her bumped car and disregarding who was hurt in the crash. A trail of ass lickers immediately followed, pointing out my childishness (what else) and my total lack of importance (for 2 days and more than 1100 views). Two deviant voices were quickly silenced, the most ubuesque of the Mods explained that my parting was in fact spamming (!!!!) and therefore amply deserved the crazy banning – and everybody agreed in the end on how good a board this board was, and how much they all loved it. There was no dissenting voice. The few friends I had over there didn’t join the self-righteous mob, but didn’t protest or defend me either. No freedom of thought, no freedom of speech, no criticism, no questioning, and no investigation in the world of the Moore following elite.
I watched in silence, and knew for certain there was
nothing left of Michael Moore on
Upsize This.
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I’d like to say that the fondest memory I have of
Upsize This is the day when they finally removed this F9/11 poster from their Home page, like I had asked them to. But it wouldn’t be strictly true. My fondest memory remains proudly beholding my essay sitting enthroned under this same F9/11 poster on this same Home page.
I have loved this site. For foolish reasons, I know. But I have loved it.
